On Judgment

On the other day, I had a conversation with someone that shared how sad he was. Sad by the fact that despite his good intentions, people saw it as an attempt to take advantage of a situation!

While in the conversation, I could not help noticing how much that situation had affected him. The signs of sadness and disappointment were obvious in his body language. Starting from the way he sat, to the way he looked, to the way he spoke.

At that moment we started a conversation about why, and how we judge others.

In the midst of our reflections, some thoughts dominated the conversation. When we judge others, we use as a starting point the way we are in the world. We can only project what our imagination can create, and that comes from our own reality.

And that is why sometimes it is so difficult to understand how people see and judge us. Why it is so painful to accept that how we are in the world, is not always perceived according to our best intentions.

And if this is true in many areas, on a professional level the temptation to judge seems to be even more relevant. It becomes much more difficult to see the person, beyond the role. And the judgment seems to increase with the hierarchic level.

It is a great challenge for leaders to be able to build organizations where people talk more and judge less. It is also a great challenge for each one of us to be able to show the person despite the role.

To nurture honest and trust-based organisations is a great responsibility. It is no longer a nice to have. Yet it is important to accept that regardless our best intentions we will be judged. That sometimes there is a misalignment between how we act and how people experience it. 

The challenge is to accept that there is nothing we can do about that. To accept that more important than what others think of us is to have the right set of values and act according to them. And that when we do that, we are truthful to ourselves and become free from all the judgment!