Can you hear me?

And suddenly we were both having what is supposedly called a conversation. What we did not realize was that there were four entities in the room: you, me and our egos.

How often this happens, both in organizations and in our personal lives? The ego takes control of the conversation, we got distracted and forgot why we started the conversation in the first place.

Think about this the next time you are speaking with someone. Am I really listening to what this person is trying to tell me or am I just focused on what I'm going to say next?

If you are only focused on your response, you are letting the ego master the conversation. And by allowing the ego master the conversation, you are preventing new possibilities from opening up, and you won’t be able to see beyond what you already know.

For you to get the most of the relationship with your ego and the others, you need to be able to recognize when it is present, be aware that it is never satisfied and that it will always try to dominate the conversation. But you also need to be able to accept it.

By accepting it, you gain the opportunity to understand when the conversation is taking place at the level of the ego or the person. You also get the possibility to choose. You can influence who will have the conversation, the two egos or the two people.

Gaining this awareness is a challenge and an opportunity for leaders in organisations, as well as for each one of us. How many opportunities were lost because people talk but do not listen?